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verybigpimpin:

*txts back 20 days later & picks up the conversation where we left off as if no time has passed and without an excuse*

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

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oportunitas:

When someone touches ur butt

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(via asian)

Source: oportunitas
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qozxe:

if i stay in bed i’ll be warm

if i get in the shower i’ll also be warm

but the distance between the bed and the shower

no

that is not warm

(via humorking)

Source: qozxe
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leomanaids:

bitchcraftandwiggatry:

dirudo:

"I’m not rich"

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"But I have a big dick"

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"I don’t have a big dick"

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"But I am rich"

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"I’m rich"

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"And I have a big dick"

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(via perks-of-being-chinese)

Source: dirudo
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xanush:

tr-ibal:

I will keep this photo posted for 1 week.

Every time someone Reblogs this photo I will donate 10 cent to charity: water

After the money is donated I will post proof of donation.

Show you care & Reblog.

always

If you don’t reblog this at least once you’re a joke.

(via offinaworldofpureimagination)

Source: charitywaterproject
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large-flightless-bird:

when you go in the bathroom and you don’t know if it’s water or pee on the ground

image

(via parkingstrange)

Source: large-flightless-bird
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mond0:

sö î hèãrd ÿôū łįkê gùÿś wìth áçćėñtš

(via asian)

Source: eggito
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cumsquats:

a hundred motha fuckas cant tell me nothin. im deaf why are they yelling at me

(via greetings)

Photo Set

androidhunter:

some glorious quotes from John Dies @ The End by David Wong
this book is 100% gold go read it

(via sagihairius)

Source: androidhunter
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cokeflow:

I envy literally everyone who is talented at anything

(via humorking)

Source: fingerblaster113
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christmasbarakat:

my dad is a cop and i just called him and he was like “hey i have a 17 year old boy in the back of my cop car right now that i’m running him to the station” and i asked if he was cute and my dad said “Hey, my daughter wants to know if you’re cute” and the guy said “i want to say yes, sir” and my dad started laughing so hard

(via parkingstrange)

Source: ahcalamity
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kindofsharethat:

waiting for the tumblr video player to load

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(via greetings)

Source: kindofsharethat
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dominospizzadelivery:

"Hey can u check if that milk went bad?"

*opens fridge*

*milk has leather jacket on smoking a cigarette*

"It’s bad alright"

(via humorking)

Source: dominospizzadelivery
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lindsaylohoean:

even gifs move more than i do

(via parkingstrange)

Source: lindsaylohoean